On my last trip through the Book of Esther I wasn’t looking for anything in particular. I knew the story well enough to know the major events and the theme of the book, namely that “…who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:14) If we live by faith, we believe God is guiding our steps and the destinies of men and nations. We also believe Esther was free to choose the path she would take, as the first half of verse 14 clearly says, if you don’t do it God will get it done another way, because His will be done. (Esther 4:14 and Matthew 6:10) We can also assume that if we are walking in faith with the intention of doing God’s will, that He will cover our mistakes, blunders, and failures, and He will see us to the end.
Although I wasn’t looking for anything in particular as I read Esther again, that doesn’t mean I wasn’t looking for anything. On the contrary, when I read the Bible, I’m always looking for something new: a new revelation, a new avenue, a new truth, a new lesson, and I found one in Esther. Check this out!
The Godless Book
Esther is commonly called the ‘godless book!’ What!?! Similarly, when people say that Jesus’ 12 disciples were riffraff and unworthy of their call, I completely disagree. The 12 disciples were devoted seekers of the Messiah. They knew the Torah and they loved God. Imperfect as they were, as we all are, they were worthy, and hand-picked by God to serve.
I understand why Esther is called the ‘godless book.’ It is because God is not mentioned in the book, and amazingly so, given the countless opportunities to mention Him and His hand in the story. One writer pointed out that the Jews were in a very dark place at the time Esther occurred. They were in exile for being rebellious, and their rebellion was severe; they had turned their backs on God in favor of idols and men. While this may have played a part, I believe the characteristics of the Book of Esther are intentional, as is the entire Bible, guided by God.
Look, He’s Right There!
The Holy Spirit is God. The Holy Spirit is the fraction of the Trinity that displays God’s presence and divine intervention and protection for His people, the Jews, in the Book of Esther. I wonder if this isn’t part of the reason God chose to leave His name out of this book, so He could show us, and remind us, that His Spirit is always present and always at work. Even in the most godless of settings, the Holy Spirit cannot be kept out. He can show up and touch someone’s heart in that place of darkness, because the darkness has no power over Him.
I see the work of the Holy Spirit throughout the Book of Esther, beginning to end. The book begins with the queen rejecting the king, which was foolish and likely unheard of (but this is what was needed to put Esther into position), and it ends with the Jews earning providential favor from the king to destroy their enemies, who were the king’s own people. If the events at the beginning and the events at the end don’t have you scratching your head and wondering how these things could have come to be, then you are missing the divine intervention, which is present throughout the book.
These are afterthoughts for me though. The part of the story that spoke to me, the part that inspired this writing, took place right in the middle. It came right at the heart of the story, when everything was heating up and ready to explode, that is where I saw God’s whisper. After Esther had approached the king for the first time, when she unexplainably (there it is again) failed to discuss the situation with Haman and her people, she had essentially signed Mordecai’s death sentence. That very day Haman received counsel from his wife and friends that resulted in the building of the gallows that would hang Mordecai the next morning. At this point, Esther had failed her uncle.
Do you know that your failures, your hesitations, your imperfections cannot thwart the plans of God?
It takes the Bible to understand the Bible. What I mean is you have to read the whole thing to understand it in parts. You can’t read the Book of Esther by itself and find God without reading the rest of the Bible. You can’t read the New Testament and understand the significance of Jesus’ arrival to the disciples (among many other things) without reading the Old Testament. As I read Esther, I was also reading Proverbs, and I didn’t just happen to be near Proverbs 21, I was led there.
1 The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, Like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes.
This is where God showed His presence to me in the Book of Esther. After Esther procrastinates, leaving the door open for Haman to hang her uncle, watch what the Lord does; He covers for her. In the middle of the night, while Haman was out building the gallows, the king is robbed of his sleep. He asks for the chronicles of the kingdom to be read to him, and who should appear in the reading? Mordecai! My friends, if you believe in coincidences then you need to do a health check on your faith. As a result, Haman parades his enemy around on the king’s horse, dressed in the king’s robe, wearing the king’s royal crest, in place of hanging him from the gallows.
Proverbs 21:1 is revealed to us as a powerful testimony that God stands firm on His word. The events of that night are verbatim with what this proverb says, that God is in control, it is He who holds the heart of the king in His hand, it is He who has the power, and it is He who directs the steps of even the most powerful and hard-hearted men into His will. The Book of Esther is a testimony of how God can take any situation, any mistake, any hesitation, and any person and have His will done.
Key Points
My friends, this is what I want to leave you with:
If you feel it is too late for you to come onto the path God has for you, it most certainly is not! You must refuse to believe that the Almighty, all-powerful God, is limited by our weaknesses and imperfections. He can take you wherever you are and put you right where He intended you to be, right where He needs you, regardless of your doubt and delay, if, as it says 3 times in Joshua 1, you can “be strong and of good courage!”
Never make doctrinal or theological decisions or conclusions based on a single verse or chapter of the Bible. The Bible is a living book, one that guides and speaks to you. Its truths are concrete, and its revelations run deep. Absorb the whole thing and never, ever, stop reading it.
You are never alone, no matter how distant you feel from God, and these days, how distant you feel from the people around you. The Holy Spirit is always with you, always. He doesn’t pester you or push you, but He is there when you need Him and when you look for Him. Call on Him, talk to Him, just like you talk to the Father and to Jesus. He loves you and He is for you.
Never assume you’ve gotten all your going to get out of certain book or passage in the Bible. When most people think about Esther, they think about being in the place God put you in and doing what He intends for you to do. But is there not so much more in this book? So much more revelation, some of which we discussed in the paragraphs above? Keep searching, reading, and digging deeper with God. There will always be more because it is impossible for us to have it all this side of heaven, and that is a beautiful thing.
Esther 4
14 For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”
Matthew 6
10 Your kingdom come. Your will be done On earth as it is in heaven.
Proverbs 21
1 The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, Like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes.
Every New Year’s Eve our family sits down and watches a slideshow of pictures and videos from the closing year. It has become a beloved family tradition, the kids even start asking me about the presentation a month or two in advance, making sure its production had already started. Next year I vow to start that production process before December 29th!
As we watch this video together, usually late on New Year’s Eve, we are reminded of the good and happy times we shared as a family, the people we shared them with, the trips we took, and the memories that have the potential to last a lifetime. But this year, more than any other, I looked back onto with a heavy heart. As I meditated on that, I realized how foolish I was being, because the few negative events that I allowed to define 2021 had overshadowed, even buried, the abundance of good that I and my family experienced. Let me explain.
The Bad Things
In February of 2021, our son was involved in a bad sledding accident. He was seriously injured and had to be flown to St. Louis Children’s Hospital for immediate brain surgery. His skull was badly fractured. All glory to God, he was operated on immediately, was home six days later, and has had a complete recovery. I continue to express my thankfulness to the skilled and disciplined surgeons who played a vital role in saving my son’s life. We were more than overjoyed to have him back home, but the lingering effects of that trauma infected my wife and I long after our son and daughter had moved on from it. We suffered, we were sad regardless of the miracles we witnessed, and we were questioning ourselves.
One morning in July I arrived early to the office. My neighbor had called me asking if I’d seen her boyfriend, who had been living with her for the past three years. They are both in their sixties, he was retired, and she was up north visiting her mother. The day before some people came to that house to meet with this man, who was my friend, but he was not there. Knowing something was wrong I went over to take a look around. I went into the house, honestly assuming he had a heart attack, but he was not there. Then I walked the property. Looking ahead I saw an image that did not register in my mind at first. As I got closer, I could see that my friend had tipped his zero-turn lawn mower over into their small fishing pond and drowned. I won’t describe the scene.
In August I had some serious arguments with others in my business over a sister company I had created six years earlier. The services provided by this company were successful, and the struggles of the first three years had paid off, but everyone in the company rebelled against it. They didn’t want to do that type of work. I decided to close that company, regardless of the financial ignorance of the move. I felt betrayed and abandoned by everyone in my company.
Then in November I experienced another betrayal, a bad one. It still hurts today. I won’t discuss that one.
I’m not writing all this for sympathy, but the stories need to be told so I can show you how a handful of negative occurrences can define our lives, and we don’t think we have a choice in the matter. When I looked back on 2021 those events were what I saw, and they were all I saw. I saw tragedy, guilt, pain, death, loss, and betrayal. I was down when New Year’s approached, and I was anxious for it to end. I admitted there were good things that happened in 2021, our epic family vacation to the National Parks in the west for example, but they did nothing to chip away at that mountain of loss and pain that dominated the horizon we had left behind us. As the New Year approached, knowing I would have to face my family and honestly tell them how I viewed 2021, I was forced to take a hard look at it, and I’m glad I was led to do so.
Reflections on 2021
The Good Things
First, I looked into 2021 for anything that was good, not good, but great, that was outside of the joys of any particular day. Our family vacation took the top spot, hands down. After our son’s accident we were unsure if we’d be able to take this trip we had planned. It was early into his recovery when my wife and I decided to just go for it, if nothing else as a celebration of our son’s life. If we were only to see the Grand Canyon and Yosemite and the Sequoias from the car, then so be it. When we left he was still on restrictions from jumping around while the skull fracture healed, and it was difficult to comply to that, but we experienced a family vacation that lacked in nothing. The trip even took us four days longer than scheduled, and since I’m self-employed and the Lord led us to homeschool our kids in this season, it was no problem to joyfully extend our trip. We didn’t want it to end!
When we got home one of the next projects that highlighted the year was the publishing of my website and blog, www.SingWriteRead.com, which included creating 12 blog posts. This was the culmination of a vision that took over a year to realize. It is a blog type website that promotes blog posts, song lyrics, other writings, and links to my YouTube channel where you can find recordings of most of my songs.
Speaking of YouTube, 2021 is the year I started my most cherished playlist on the channel, “Inside the Ink.” This is an ongoing project where I give a brief narrative of the song and how it was written. I love this project. It allows me to take our viewers inside the songwriting process, or to dissect the lyrics, or to point out important biblical truths in the songs.
In late 2021 I was able to complete my second unpublished book, “A Light in the Darkness,” which is the sequel to the first one written in 2020 (if you have advice on how to confidently publish a book, let me know). A trilogy is planned to complete the series, and God willing it will be written in 2022!
I was also able to write 8 new songs last year. While 8 in a year is the lowest output I’ve experienced since I started writing again in late 2017, I look back on these songs and really dig all of them. Some I have already shared on YouTube.
Last year I replaced our Facebook Live Worship Sessions of 2020 with live performances at the Victory Dream Center food pantry on Sunday afternoons. This was an answer to prayer and the guidance of God. I longed with love in my heart to play these songs for the hurting people around us, and God delivered. I played for the people in the food pantry line for most Sunday’s last year and gave away many copies of my CD, “The Tragedy of Complexity” in the process. What a blessing.
By years end, that sister company I decided to scrap because of the rejection of my co-workers, we ended up selling it, and God confirmed the move both before the decision and after!
Also in 2021, our son and our daughter are healthy and happy, the coronavirus pandemic has not troubled our family too much, we have not lost anybody close to us due to sickness like countless others have (on that premise alone we can only be thankful as so many around us have experience excruciating loss of sometimes multiple family members and friends).
The Conclusion
Even now, when I read that list of positive events and creative output, I marvel at how I could have ever thought negatively about 2021. After all, our son survived, we sold part of our company, we created a lot of material for the Kingdom of God, as a family we grew closer to God; it just blows my mind how blessed we have been. As I dissected the reasoning behind my negative outlook, this is what I found:
The bad things do not need longevity to become monumental
When we accomplish something great, how long will we be satisfied with that accomplishment if nobody values or recognizes it? Not very long. We thrive on positive affirmation. Negative experiences, on the other hand, hurt, and hurt can be impacting. It doesn’t matter if the lingering effects of the event last for months or for minutes, you’re going to remember that pain if it was significant. Nobody has to acknowledge the hurt you experienced for you to remember it, to dwell on it, or even to allow it to define you. It is true someone may need to acknowledge it for you to heal from it, but let’s face it, it is hard to heal from bad experiences.
As a result, all the negative things we’ve experienced over the last year stand front and center in our memories, and if we are not careful, they can define who we are, how we speak, and what we think. They can affect relationships, your health, even the core of who you are, your personality. They can do damage to your relationship with God. A negative outlook is like a cancer to the emotions, degrading your vibe until it withers and wastes away.
Be intentional about the good in your life
I have come to the conclusion that we must intentionally look for the good, the positive, and the great things that we experience and accomplish, and allow them to define our lives. Otherwise, without this intentional focus, the negative will darken the noon-day sky. Being defined by first our faith, joy, and security in God, and then by contentment and a positive outlook, will likely produce dramatic change in most of our lives, if we just choose to focus on it. I say choose for a reason. There are many things we think just happen to us that are out of our control, but in reality, we choose them. We choose, based on what we can clearly see and by what is written on our hearts, to believe in God. We choose to believe by faith that the Bible is the infallible, inerrant, inspired word of God. We choose to love our spouse and our kids when we don’t “feel” like it. Yes, you choose to love! Then why should it be unreasonable to choose to focus on the good in our lives? It’s not.
Bury the bad
How do you bury the bad? You forgive. Sometimes that means you need to forgive yourself, like I had to do after my son got hurt. Other times it is forgiving another person, or God, or even someone who may no longer be with us. Forgiveness is a requirement of the Christian life, and books have been written on what that looks like from a believer’s perspective. Again, it is something we choose to do, something we give to God, and being the loving Father that He is, He takes the burden from us. Forgiveness is potentially the most liberating act we can participate in. Carrying unforgiveness causes hate, bitterness, and sorrow, and this keeps the negative and bad memories of our past front and center in our lives.
You also bury the bad by putting everything under the supreme management team, Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. If your business, or passion, or life’s work collapses in shambles, give that to God and let Him make you into something great, like the phoenix rising out of the ashes. If you have a deep hurt or betrayal, turn to God for healing and peace, for He gives peace that transcends human understanding or ability. If you’re not getting the recognition you deserve, give that to God and let Him have the praise for it (ask yourself, who do you serve and who do you work for? The praise and glory of God, or the praise and glory of men?)
We must change the way we tell our story
Finally, the next time someone asks you about your life, pause before you answer. Consider what you are going to say. If you are tempted, like I almost always am, to point out all the challenges you’ve had over the past month, focus on a few of the good things that have happened and start with those items. By changing the way we tell our story we are not denying the existence of the problems we face, rather we are choosing not to let them define us, our responses, and our actions. There is a time and a place and a person to vent the negatives too, but start off with the good, you and your Lord will shine brighter for it.
I write this because I am guilty of it, and I pray that God will help me change the way I respond to and view life. It has caused me to see myself as a negative person, and I don’t like it, neither does anyone else. I want to change who I am, and I want to change how I serve God, with a joyful and grateful heart. I want to be more like Jesus. Lord, please help me.
Romans 12
1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
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