In this series of three blog posts, we are going to talk about sex. The series is written from my point of view, based on my history with sex, marriage, and God. This first part will explain what the Bible says about sex and marriage, as related to the topics I want to discuss with you. The second part will tell you about my sexual journey from childhood into marriage. The third part will contrast my experience (Part 2), with God’s Word (Part 1).
One Sexual Partner for Life
God tells us in His Word that we are to remain sexually pure until we marry one person. He talks about it a lot in the Pentateuch, or the Torah, the first five books of the Bible. There are whole chapters, like Leviticus 18, devoted to sexual immorality. We see the Hebrew nation fall away from God time and time again to pursue Baal (sex was a big deal in Baal worship) and polygamy, marrying many wives (Gideon had 70 sons from “many wives,” Solomon over 300 wives and lovers). Don’t think for a minute that because Abraham was given Hagar, or because Jacob had two wives and two concubines, or because the kings of Israel, like David and Solomon, had many wives and concubines, that this was right in the eyes of God. It wasn’t. God says in Genesis 2, Jesus says in Matthew 19 and Mark 10, and Paul reminds us in Ephesians 5, that man shall leave his parents and cling to his wife, singular, and the two shall become one flesh.
When people do something that is in direct opposition to God’s Word, even if they find success in it, or if it becomes culturally acceptable, or even law, it doesn’t allow us to disregard what God says and it doesn’t change what He says. The Bible is not up for cultural interpretation when it comes to moral law. It is written on your heart, and it is written on mine, believer, skeptic, and non-believer alike.
Marrying Young
Sex is a gift from God, and it is a beautiful gift. God tells us this in the Song of Solomon, which is a book in the Bible that tells us of two young lovers and how they desire each other. Their eyes and their hearts are only for each other, and the power of their attraction is insatiable. It speaks to the blessed decision to marry at a young age. To find the love of your youth and commit to a life together.
Having Children
We can’t talk about sex and the Word of God without mentioning having children. When the Bible talks about marriage and sex, more often than not, childbearing and raising a family are mentioned. In Genesis 1, God says, “Increase and multiply.” It’s not that God’s will for everyone is to be married and have a family. Paul makes that clear in 1 Corinthians 7 that if one is unmarried, it is fine to remain so. But if one wants to start a family and have children of their own, then God says this is to be done within the family unit, one father and one mother. This is His will for our lives.
Sex is a Gift from God, meant to be Enjoyed
When you get married and make love to your spouse for the first time, and you enter this world of sharing your most intimate self with another for the first time, you have just received God’s wedding present to you!
Look at what Proverbs 5:15-20 says. It is about the beauty and enjoyment of sex with your spouse.
Verses 18 and 19 say “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love.”
I’m sure we can get an amen to that!
Is God not telling us here to marry young, have only one lover, your spouse, and to enjoy intimate sex with each other? It is pretty clear.
Now look at verses 15-17, and 20. For brevity I’ll spell out verses 17 and 20. “Let them be only your own, and not for strangers with you.” Then, “For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, and be embraced in the arms of a seductress?” Verse 20 speaks to the betrayal of adultery and the resulting pain and permanent damage to a relationship when we allow ourselves to be embraced in the arms of another.
In the second edition of this series, I will take you through my sexual journey as a child, and the damage it caused, before concluding with reflections on what God says about sex and marriage in contradiction with the path I chose.
Read Chris’s post on his insights into multi-cultural marriage:
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