Every New Year’s Eve our family sits down and watches a slideshow of pictures and videos from the closing year. It has become a beloved family tradition, the kids even start asking me about the presentation a month or two in advance, making sure its production had already started. Next year I vow to start that production process before December 29th!
As we watch this video together, usually late on New Year’s Eve, we are reminded of the good and happy times we shared as a family, the people we shared them with, the trips we took, and the memories that have the potential to last a lifetime. But this year, more than any other, I looked back onto with a heavy heart. As I meditated on that, I realized how foolish I was being, because the few negative events that I allowed to define 2021 had overshadowed, even buried, the abundance of good that I and my family experienced. Let me explain.
The Bad Things
In February of 2021, our son was involved in a bad sledding accident. He was seriously injured and had to be flown to St. Louis Children’s Hospital for immediate brain surgery. His skull was badly fractured. All glory to God, he was operated on immediately, was home six days later, and has had a complete recovery. I continue to express my thankfulness to the skilled and disciplined surgeons who played a vital role in saving my son’s life. We were more than overjoyed to have him back home, but the lingering effects of that trauma infected my wife and I long after our son and daughter had moved on from it. We suffered, we were sad regardless of the miracles we witnessed, and we were questioning ourselves.
One morning in July I arrived early to the office. My neighbor had called me asking if I’d seen her boyfriend, who had been living with her for the past three years. They are both in their sixties, he was retired, and she was up north visiting her mother. The day before some people came to that house to meet with this man, who was my friend, but he was not there. Knowing something was wrong I went over to take a look around. I went into the house, honestly assuming he had a heart attack, but he was not there. Then I walked the property. Looking ahead I saw an image that did not register in my mind at first. As I got closer, I could see that my friend had tipped his zero-turn lawn mower over into their small fishing pond and drowned. I won’t describe the scene.
In August I had some serious arguments with others in my business over a sister company I had created six years earlier. The services provided by this company were successful, and the struggles of the first three years had paid off, but everyone in the company rebelled against it. They didn’t want to do that type of work. I decided to close that company, regardless of the financial ignorance of the move. I felt betrayed and abandoned by everyone in my company.
Then in November I experienced another betrayal, a bad one. It still hurts today. I won’t discuss that one.
I’m not writing all this for sympathy, but the stories need to be told so I can show you how a handful of negative occurrences can define our lives, and we don’t think we have a choice in the matter. When I looked back on 2021 those events were what I saw, and they were all I saw. I saw tragedy, guilt, pain, death, loss, and betrayal. I was down when New Year’s approached, and I was anxious for it to end. I admitted there were good things that happened in 2021, our epic family vacation to the National Parks in the west for example, but they did nothing to chip away at that mountain of loss and pain that dominated the horizon we had left behind us. As the New Year approached, knowing I would have to face my family and honestly tell them how I viewed 2021, I was forced to take a hard look at it, and I’m glad I was led to do so.
Reflections on 2021
The Good Things
First, I looked into 2021 for anything that was good, not good, but great, that was outside of the joys of any particular day. Our family vacation took the top spot, hands down. After our son’s accident we were unsure if we’d be able to take this trip we had planned. It was early into his recovery when my wife and I decided to just go for it, if nothing else as a celebration of our son’s life. If we were only to see the Grand Canyon and Yosemite and the Sequoias from the car, then so be it. When we left he was still on restrictions from jumping around while the skull fracture healed, and it was difficult to comply to that, but we experienced a family vacation that lacked in nothing. The trip even took us four days longer than scheduled, and since I’m self-employed and the Lord led us to homeschool our kids in this season, it was no problem to joyfully extend our trip. We didn’t want it to end!
When we got home one of the next projects that highlighted the year was the publishing of my website and blog, www.SingWriteRead.com, which included creating 12 blog posts. This was the culmination of a vision that took over a year to realize. It is a blog type website that promotes blog posts, song lyrics, other writings, and links to my YouTube channel where you can find recordings of most of my songs.
Speaking of YouTube, 2021 is the year I started my most cherished playlist on the channel, “Inside the Ink.” This is an ongoing project where I give a brief narrative of the song and how it was written. I love this project. It allows me to take our viewers inside the songwriting process, or to dissect the lyrics, or to point out important biblical truths in the songs.
In late 2021 I was able to complete my second unpublished book, “A Light in the Darkness,” which is the sequel to the first one written in 2020 (if you have advice on how to confidently publish a book, let me know). A trilogy is planned to complete the series, and God willing it will be written in 2022!
I was also able to write 8 new songs last year. While 8 in a year is the lowest output I’ve experienced since I started writing again in late 2017, I look back on these songs and really dig all of them. Some I have already shared on YouTube.
Last year I replaced our Facebook Live Worship Sessions of 2020 with live performances at the Victory Dream Center food pantry on Sunday afternoons. This was an answer to prayer and the guidance of God. I longed with love in my heart to play these songs for the hurting people around us, and God delivered. I played for the people in the food pantry line for most Sunday’s last year and gave away many copies of my CD, “The Tragedy of Complexity” in the process. What a blessing.
By years end, that sister company I decided to scrap because of the rejection of my co-workers, we ended up selling it, and God confirmed the move both before the decision and after!
Also in 2021, our son and our daughter are healthy and happy, the coronavirus pandemic has not troubled our family too much, we have not lost anybody close to us due to sickness like countless others have (on that premise alone we can only be thankful as so many around us have experience excruciating loss of sometimes multiple family members and friends).
The Conclusion
Even now, when I read that list of positive events and creative output, I marvel at how I could have ever thought negatively about 2021. After all, our son survived, we sold part of our company, we created a lot of material for the Kingdom of God, as a family we grew closer to God; it just blows my mind how blessed we have been. As I dissected the reasoning behind my negative outlook, this is what I found:
The bad things do not need longevity to become monumental
When we accomplish something great, how long will we be satisfied with that accomplishment if nobody values or recognizes it? Not very long. We thrive on positive affirmation. Negative experiences, on the other hand, hurt, and hurt can be impacting. It doesn’t matter if the lingering effects of the event last for months or for minutes, you’re going to remember that pain if it was significant. Nobody has to acknowledge the hurt you experienced for you to remember it, to dwell on it, or even to allow it to define you. It is true someone may need to acknowledge it for you to heal from it, but let’s face it, it is hard to heal from bad experiences.
As a result, all the negative things we’ve experienced over the last year stand front and center in our memories, and if we are not careful, they can define who we are, how we speak, and what we think. They can affect relationships, your health, even the core of who you are, your personality. They can do damage to your relationship with God. A negative outlook is like a cancer to the emotions, degrading your vibe until it withers and wastes away.
Be intentional about the good in your life
I have come to the conclusion that we must intentionally look for the good, the positive, and the great things that we experience and accomplish, and allow them to define our lives. Otherwise, without this intentional focus, the negative will darken the noon-day sky. Being defined by first our faith, joy, and security in God, and then by contentment and a positive outlook, will likely produce dramatic change in most of our lives, if we just choose to focus on it. I say choose for a reason. There are many things we think just happen to us that are out of our control, but in reality, we choose them. We choose, based on what we can clearly see and by what is written on our hearts, to believe in God. We choose to believe by faith that the Bible is the infallible, inerrant, inspired word of God. We choose to love our spouse and our kids when we don’t “feel” like it. Yes, you choose to love! Then why should it be unreasonable to choose to focus on the good in our lives? It’s not.
Bury the bad
How do you bury the bad? You forgive. Sometimes that means you need to forgive yourself, like I had to do after my son got hurt. Other times it is forgiving another person, or God, or even someone who may no longer be with us. Forgiveness is a requirement of the Christian life, and books have been written on what that looks like from a believer’s perspective. Again, it is something we choose to do, something we give to God, and being the loving Father that He is, He takes the burden from us. Forgiveness is potentially the most liberating act we can participate in. Carrying unforgiveness causes hate, bitterness, and sorrow, and this keeps the negative and bad memories of our past front and center in our lives.
You also bury the bad by putting everything under the supreme management team, Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit. If your business, or passion, or life’s work collapses in shambles, give that to God and let Him make you into something great, like the phoenix rising out of the ashes. If you have a deep hurt or betrayal, turn to God for healing and peace, for He gives peace that transcends human understanding or ability. If you’re not getting the recognition you deserve, give that to God and let Him have the praise for it (ask yourself, who do you serve and who do you work for? The praise and glory of God, or the praise and glory of men?)
We must change the way we tell our story
Finally, the next time someone asks you about your life, pause before you answer. Consider what you are going to say. If you are tempted, like I almost always am, to point out all the challenges you’ve had over the past month, focus on a few of the good things that have happened and start with those items. By changing the way we tell our story we are not denying the existence of the problems we face, rather we are choosing not to let them define us, our responses, and our actions. There is a time and a place and a person to vent the negatives too, but start off with the good, you and your Lord will shine brighter for it.
I write this because I am guilty of it, and I pray that God will help me change the way I respond to and view life. It has caused me to see myself as a negative person, and I don’t like it, neither does anyone else. I want to change who I am, and I want to change how I serve God, with a joyful and grateful heart. I want to be more like Jesus. Lord, please help me.
Romans 12
1 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
I recently went down to Mayfield, Kentucky for two days to volunteer, hoping to help the tornado destroyed city and its residents anyway I could. Having a forestry background, I packed my chainsaw and the necessary personal protective gear into the trunk of my car. I realized I would probably be required to do something other than running a chainsaw, but I wanted to be prepared to offer the only skill I had become really good at, just in case it was needed. Driving into Mayfield at seven o’clock in the morning I missed the turn that would take me to the Samaritan’s Purse headquarters, which is the organization I signed up to volunteer with. By missing the turn, I ended up driving straight into downtown. I cried. That overwhelming feeling of sorrow stayed with me for much of the morning, and I wondered what I could do to help the victims of this storm to make it through, or how I could help them cling to God after unimaginable loss and sorrow. The answer was, more or less, nothing. Not because there was nothing to be done, it was because of the word “I.”
Mayfield First United Methodist Church in Mayfield, KY
Mercy Health Hospital in Mayfield, KY
What can be worse than loss of life and possessions?
I think my greatest source of sorrow when disaster strikes a town, or a family, or an individual, is considering how the victims of the tragedy will react towards God. You have to admit that if a person believes in God or not, almost everyone who experiences something like this will talk to God in one way or another; either to seek Him for His comfort, or to curse Him for His apathy. Disaster and pain have a tendency to make temporal believers out of all of us. Do you know why that is? It is because the truth is written on all of our hearts, but our selfish bodies, along with the distractions of life, are really good at ignoring it. Then we realize we have no control and no guarantees, and through our fear we see Him clearly. Some of us through the lens of hope, others through a filter of anger, hate, and shame. The shame comes from knowing we have denied Him all this time, denied what we knew to be true, but now we feel it is too late, and that we can’t give in now, forced into submission by tragedy and sorrow. No, we will wait for a time when we can consider it, Him, on our own terms.
Yes, my greatest sorrow in times and places like these is that those who do not know God will have gathered more ammunition to use against God, to reject His existence. While others who do believe in Him will become angry and bitter, and eventually turning their backs on Him, leaving their faith behind. Does it take a strong Christian to turn to God in praise and thanksgiving in times of loss? I don’t think so and I hope not. Who are we to say how the Holy Spirit can move in someone’s heart in any given situation? While those who are stronger in faith will likely turn to God, some will not. Likewise, some who have been far away may find themselves looking towards Him for the healing and the hope that is only found in Him, some for the first time.
Why go?
You may be asking, as I did when I arrived, if I knew there was nothing I could do to make any difference in Mayfield, then why did I go? First and foremost, the Holy Spirit guided me to. The longing I had to be there alongside suffering brothers and sisters was irresistible and only explainable through the continual sensitizing of my heart by the Holy Spirit. Those are His tears that come so easily anymore, from the eyes of a man who refused to cry for anything, not to mention the fate of distant strangers. Then everything from the radio announcement, registration with Samaritan’s Purse, having the time to go, getting a negative Covid test, to finding the last hotel room in town after the first night, was all guided and gifted by God. That was the motivation, but what of the reason? That would be revealed while I was there.
Going into a disaster area by yourself, to work with a humble heart that is full of love, will provide little more than free labor and accomplish little more than removing one grain of sand from a hurting community’s sand box. Driving into town with a food truck and serving free meals to one hundred people a day is a great thing to do and demonstrates beautifully the ability of the human heart to love. It takes the stress and worry from immediate needs, but the endurance of that hope only lasts until the time of the next meal. If I were to walk into town and start knocking on doors and asking if I could pray for the people inside, or if I stood on the street corner and prayed over the community night and day, angles in heaven would rejoice but the people would not be physically served. (See James 2:14-17).
When I joined my group at Samaritan’s Purse, I put on that orange t-shirt and joined 15 to 20 other people. As the day passed, I watched crew members pray for homeowners, one even wept as she revealed she had lost a family member on 7th St. I saw the Salvation Army drive in and give meals to our crew and to hungry people. I saw chaplains from the Billy Graham Association talk to, pray with, and give Bible’s to the homeowner’s we served. I was informed that one homeowner we served accepted Jesus Christ into his life. The night of the storm his girlfriend called him and asked him to come home from his job at the Mayfield Candle Factory, which he did, right before 9 people died there. Something was stirring in his heart and eight days later he accepted Jesus when a couple of chaplains talked to him as we cleared his backyard of a fallen tree.
Giving the Bible to a Homeowner
Samaritan’s Purse Disaster Response Vehicle (DRV)
As I worked, dragging limbs and cutting with a chainsaw, I looked at all these wonderful things happening around me, and I realized that nothing would be different if I was not there. The other 15 people would get the brush cut and moved, the food would have been served, Bible’s delivered, prayers given, and salvation witnessed. And this is where I learned what my purpose was in Mayfield, Kentucky. It is a purpose that we all can fill, one that we all must aspire too. It was to simply strengthen the body of Jesus Christ. What a beautiful revelation that was. (See 1 Corinthians 12:12-27).
You see, when we all put those orange safety shirts on, the one’s that say, “Serving in Jesus’ Name,” we are visibly and actively showing people that faith is real and that God is working on their behalf through His body, the church. That’s right, the church, for while not one of us worship in the same building, together we are the church. This is where you see a difference. It is visible and it is in action. It is bold in its faith and unashamed of Jesus Christ. It serves the people under only one banner, the banner of the Holy God. It is serving in missions in your back yard.
The Hope of God
My prayer for the people in Mayfield, Edwardsville, Bowling Green, and the other communities effected by this disaster, and disasters past, is that no one, not even one, will fall away. My prayer is that the devil loses completely and that no one is lost due to these disasters, rather many more are saved and find their way to the hope and the comfort that is found in God the Father. My wife said it beautifully when she wrote about my trip. She said, “Mayfield, a place where people lost everything, and once again nature showed us how vulnerable life is. We give thanks for God’s faithfulness in the midst of chaos, pain, and death. If you feel lost and crumbled, THERE IS HOPE!”
Like me she is longing for the lost and crumbled to find their hope in God. She is pointing out that God’s faithfulness is being demonstrated by His body, His army of believers that descended onto Mayfield in the wake of the storm to stand with, pray for, and help their brothers and sisters in any way they could. Because all of us, no matter what you call yourself, are brothers and sisters. We all come from the same place, we all struggle the same struggles, and we all possess hearts that continually resist darkness, selfishness, and sin. We are all the same in the eyes of God, not one is better than the other. Remember that when you are tempted to judge the faults of another. Remember that God’s love for that person is just as strong as it is for you. And there lies the beauty of faith in Jesus Christ. He came for and He died for all of us! Your past, your social status, your religious background, your bank account, are all inconsequential. He will accept you. He will! I am 100% confident of that. And He will comfort you in your pain. He can touch your heart and give you a peace that you can’t understand. He may comfort the hurting through those who are encouraging. He provides for those in need via those who have plenty.
I have a personal testimony regarding this, and I’ve written about it here and there. When our son was seriously injured we turned to God and praised Him in the darkness. Our hearts cried out, but we chose to praise Him in our pain. He gave us peace in our hearts during those early and uncertain moments. He physically prepared our son’s body for surgery. He provided a skillful surgeon to operate on my son. He came through in a mighty, powerful, and miraculous way. Of course, we give thanks and praise to those wonderful doctors at Children’s Hospital, but not the glory. All the glory, all of it, goes to God!
Brothers and sisters, I encourage you to reach out if you are hurting, confused, or lost. Contact me or go to a pastor of a Bible teaching, God fearing church. In parting I leave you with the verse from 1 Kings 19 below. The winds may have destroyed Mayfield and taken the lives of our loved ones. The fire may destroy our forests and towns in the west. Earthquakes can strike us with unimaginable fear. But when the storm passes, we will find God in the stillness of our hearts. He is there to keep you and guide you as we rebuild, say goodbye, and lament. He is with you.
With love,
Chris
1 Kings 19:11-13
11 Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; 12and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.
13So it was, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. Suddenly a voice came to him, and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
James 2:14-17
14Suppose a person claims to have faith but doesn’t act on their faith. My brothers and sisters, can this kind of faith save them? 15Suppose a brother or a sister has no clothes or food. 16Suppose one of you says to them, “Go. I hope everything turns out fine for you. Keep warm. Eat well.” And suppose you do nothing about what they really need. Then what good have you done? 17It is the same with faith. If it doesn’t cause us to do something, it’s dead.
1 Corinthians 12:12-27
12There is one body, but it has many parts. But all its many parts make up one body. It is the same with Christ. 13We were all baptized by one Holy Spirit. And so we are formed into one body. It didn’t matter whether we were Jews or Gentiles, slaves or free people. We were all given the same Spirit to drink. 14So the body is not made up of just one part. It has many parts.
15Suppose the foot says, “I am not a hand. So I don’t belong to the body.” By saying this, it cannot stop being part of the body. 16And suppose the ear says, “I am not an eye. So I don’t belong to the body.” By saying this, it cannot stop being part of the body. 17If the whole body were an eye, how could it hear? If the whole body were an ear, how could it smell? 18God has placed each part in the body just as he wanted it to be. 19If all the parts were the same, how could there be a body? 20 As it is, there are many parts. But there is only one body.
21 The eye can’t say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” 22 In fact, it is just the opposite. The parts of the body that seem to be weaker are the ones we can’t do without. 23 The parts that we think are less important we treat with special honor. The private parts aren’t shown. But they are treated with special care. 24 The parts that can be shown don’t need special care. But God has put together all the parts of the body. And he has given more honor to the parts that didn’t have any. 25 In that way, the parts of the body will not take sides. All of them will take care of one another. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it. If one part is honored, every part shares in its joy.
27You are the body of Christ. Each one of you is a part of it.
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