Don’t talk to strangers is one of the most popular, and believed to be, one of the best pieces of advice this world can give to you. Whether you are 30 years old and walking the streets of Brooklyn, or 5 years old and hanging out at the neighborhood monkey bars, it is common knowledge that talking to strangers can only lead to bad things. Why is that? On the surface it is to protect us from people who might do us harm, as if knowing a person’s name and what they do for a living makes them exempt from hurting you. As a result, we have it habitually imbedded into our minds that people we don’t know are risky, and we come into adulthood with a fear that we do not realize is there. People who do not look like us become especially dangerous. We avoid having to interact with them and even go so far as to exclude them from the public places we enjoy. Fear of our fellow man creates an “us vs. them” mentality, and, before social media, in our quest for physical friendship we naturally gravitated towards those that look like us, calling them “safe” strangers due to our common attributes.
If the world’s view of strangers is fixed firmly on the foundation of fear, then what does the word of God have to say about it?
Let’s play devil’s advocate for a moment and attempt to justify this belief with God’s word. In the book of Joshua, God commands the Hebrew nation to cross the Jordan and completely destroy Jericho, man, woman, and child. Ouch, this doesn’t put talking to strangers in a positive light. We can’t get into this in depth, but I will say you cannot compare God’s relationship with the Hebrew people in the Old Testament and transpose it over our lives after Jesus Christ. God has chosen the seed of Abraham, who would become the Hebrews, to be His people, and that meant they would not have a normal existence. They would be held accountable for their actions and inactions, and they would be required to put God’s plan to save all people through the Messiah into motion. Securing the promise land, keeping the Hebrews safe from idolatry and demonic worship, and establishing a blood line to the Messiah all come into play here. We must also consider verse like Deuteronomy 10:19, when God tells this same group of people to “…love the stranger, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt.” Fast forward to Acts 10 and we watch as the household of Cornelius, a Roman, is saved, and furthermore, receives the Holy Spirit without the laying of hands by the apostles or water baptism. It concludes in Acts 11:18 with “…even to Gentiles God has granted repentance that leads to life.” I point this out to stress that God is not a nationalist. He is love and His love goes out to all people who will accept it and the truth that comes with it.
What about when Jesus says in Mark 10:18 that “No one is good but One, that is, God.” Maybe this is where the world gets their sound advice of not talking to strangers. On the other hand, I doubt the world takes any advice from this book, at least when taken in context and understood through the wisdom of the Holy Spirit. What this verse refers to is the undeniable fact that all men, and all women, have sin in their heart, meaning we all fall short of standing up to God’s perfect standards, the 10 commandments. All of us have lied, probably stolen something (don’t forget digital stuff), have cursed and used God’s name in vain, and have looked upon another person with lustful desire. Saved or not, this applies to everyone, it is universal. We all struggle with the temptation to satisfy self at the cost of others. Not one of us is “good” when compared to God’s standards. Not one of us is worthy to stand before Him apart from the work of His Son, Jesus Christ.
What About the Strangers?
Let’s get to it then, what does the Bible say about talking to strangers? Well, it says to talk to them, of course. It tells us to love them in Deuteronomy 10:19 and in Leviticus 19:34, to stand up for them in Job 29:16, that they have favor with God in Psalm 146:9, that we find favor with God when we love the stranger as in Matthew 25:35, to treat them with respect in Romans 12:13, to provide for them in Hebrews 13:3, and finally to treat them as your friend as found in 3 John 1:5.
God is not teaching us to live separated from this world, but it does tell us over and over again to “stand separate” from this world. Standing separate means standing for God in a world that is hostile to Him. This means we can go to the birthday party of a co-worker who is a non-believer, we can partake in a trivia night that is sponsored by a secular firm and is benefiting a secular not-for-profit, and yes, we can talk to people, make friends with people, and reach out to people who are not like us and who are outside of our faith. To drive this point home, Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians that we should associate with people living in sin outside the faith, because if we did not, we’d have to leave this world in order to avoid it. In the next sentence he clarifies that it is our fellow believer living in open sin that we should not associate with. Did you catch that? The former is likely the stranger, the latter a friend.
How do we apply this for the benefit of the Kingdom? “Don’t talk to strangers” is usually targeted towards our children, then it is carried into adulthood, so let’s focus on our kids.
This is what we teach our kids
Say hello to people, especially to people that don’t look like you or dress like you, it is important. Treat everyone with respect, especially people that don’t look like you or dress like you, it is important. Don’t be afraid of people, especially people that don’t look like you or dress like you, it is important. Safety and common sense is also important, so we back these words up with biblical truth. We tell them that people, all people, have the potential for evil, and that all people want to serve their self-interests, needs, or desires, above another person’s loss or hurt, including their own parents. We tell them that technically they can’t trust anybody, and that they must think when they are around people, not to avoid them, but to love them while keeping themselves safe. If your children understand selfish desire and sin, and if they know Jesus Christ and why they need Him for salvation, then they can understand the human heart, use common sense, and keep themselves safe while not living in fear.
The world wants us to fear each other, and it wants us to live in fear. Have you watched the news lately? If we live in fear our distrust can in turn serve the darkness mightily. But if we live in love, grounded in the word of God, our distrust will turn into common sense and allow us to reject fear and stand firmly, with confidence, on the rock of God.
So go ahead and talk to a stranger.
Acts 11:18
When they heard these things they became silent; and they glorified God, saying, “Then God has also granted to the Gentiles repentance to life.”
Mark 10:18
“Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone.
Deuteronomy 10:19
You shall also love the stranger, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt.
Leviticus 19:34
The alien who resides with you shall be to you as the citizen among you; you shall love the alien as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.
Job 29:15-17
I was eyes to the blind, and feet to the lame. I was a father to the needy, and I championed the cause of the stranger. I broke the fangs of the unrighteous, and made them drop their prey from their teeth.
Psalm146:9
The Lord watches over the strangers; he upholds the orphan and the widow, but the way of the wicked he brings to ruin.
Matthew 25:35
I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me.
Romans 12:13
Contribute to the needs of the saints; extend hospitality to strangers.
Hebrews 13:1-3
Let mutual love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it. Remember those who are in prison, as though you were in prison with them; those who are being tortured, as though you yourselves were being tortured.
3 John 1:5
Beloved, you do faithfully whatever you do for the friends, even though they are strangers to you; they have testified to your love before the church. You do well to send them on in a manner worthy of God; for they began their journey for the sake of Christ, accepting no support from non-believers. Therefore, we ought to support such people, so that they may become co-workers with the truth.
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